WRITER - The Tyee -
The Impatient Patient
- Good morning. I’m Dr. Smith. I’m an anesthesiologist and I’m working with Dr. Jones. Would you come with me?
Dr. Smith takes me into a small consulting room and asks me to sit opposite her.
- What are we doing here?
- Well, as I said I’m working with Dr. Jones.
- I don’t need an anesthesiologist. I’m a heart patient. I’ve come to see Dr. Jones. He’s my cardiologist.
- Yes, of course. But I am a resident and I will be doing the pre-interview.
- Look, I appreciate that this is a teaching hospital, but I’ve had a heart surgery recently and I need to talk to my cardiologist about some serious concerns, and quite frankly, I don’t have the patience or stamina to tell this story twice. First, I’ll tell you and then, five minutes later, I’ll tell the cardio all over again.
- Well, it’ll be good for me and good for Dr. Jones and, in the long run, it’ll be good for you if we start.
- Alright. Well, I have two concerns. I believe that, in spite of having a stent put in the blocked artery, that I still have angina, and I would like to negotiate cutting down on some of these medications I’m on.
- But I’m sure you can see that those are contradictory issues. If you still have angina, we wouldn’t want to cut down on the medications.
- Yes, I understand that. They are contradictory, but they are nevertheless real.
- Let’s start with your first concern. Why do you think you still have angina?
- For two months now, ever since the angioplasty procedure, I have had consistent, unremitting pain in my shoulders and arms all the time.
- So, the pain increases when you exert yourself?
- Did I say that? Did I say anything about exertion? I said “all the time.”
- Well, I must tell you, Mr. Berner, that I don’t feel comfortable talking about reducing your medications under these circumstances.
- I beg your pardon?
- I’m just not comfortable thinking about cutting…
- Excuse me, Doctor. Let me assure you that my very lowest concern this morning is your level of comfort.
- What?
- I’m a heart patient and I want to see my cardiologist.
- Is there some problem, Mr. Berner.
- Yes, it’s the same problem I told you about when I walked in here five minutes ago. I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. I WANT TO SEE MY CARDIOLOGIST, DR. JONES!
Dr. Jones was quick to join us. He solved both of my concerns in one fell swoop.
- David, you don’t have angina.
- I don’t?
- No. You have mialgia. The statin drug you are taking – simvastatin – to lower cholesterol levels is attacking the fibers of your muscles in your arms and shoulders and we’re going to take you off it at once.
- That’s great!!
- O.K. Good.
- Two questions.
- Yes, David.
- Will I drop dead from heart attack as soon as I stop taking this drug?
- No. Why would you think that?
- Because all the literature that comes with these drugs says I might.
- No. You’ll be fine. What’s your second question?
- Why was I taking this shit and putting up with constant pain for two months in the first place?
Later, I apologized to the young resident Doctor, admitting that, in spite of the sunny weather and the wonderful work I had been doing and the fact that I hadn’t died on the operating table or needed a quadruple bypass and that I was swimming and playing tennis again and that my sex life had returned with a vengeance and that I had the great love and affection of friends and family, that in spite of all these blessings, I was suicidally depressed. And snappy. And ready to bite off the head of any poor unsuspecting soul who might cross me. Add that I was a colossal pain in the ass and the first to admit it.
- BUT…you are the famous cardiologist, Dr. Jones and you told me right here in this office two months ago when we first met that I needn’t worry because you were going to take care of me. So, when I come in here for an appointment with you after two months of unexplained pain and depression, it’s you I want to see, not a resident.
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